I don’t even know where to start with this mess I’m in. I know I brought a lot of it on myself but I don’t know what to do anymore and I need some solid advice.
I’ve been seeing this man for 4 years now and he has yet to deliver on the promises he made to me in the beginning of our relationship. We met through mutual friends and the guy who introduced told me that he was going through a bad divorce when we initially met and I was fine with that because I wasn’t looking for romance at the time.
When we met he told me that he really needed a friend to hang out with and I was fine with that too because I needed a friend at the time too. At first it wasn’t serious at all we could call each other and talk about the weather and life in general or go to dinner or a movie and I got comfortable because there was no pressure. I purposely made a point not to ask him about his divorce because I felt that he would have said something if he wanted to talk about it.
I want to say that it was almost a year into our friendship that we started to catch feelings for each other and I knew this because he would get upset with me if I didn’t return his phone calls in a certain timeframe and became aggressive about seeing me. I didn’t mind it because we had grown to be good friends but he became a fixture in my life also.
One night out of nowhere he kissed me and we had a very sexual connection and we ended up having sex and it was amazing. I told him I didn’t want things to get weird and he was on point in terms of communicating from that point on. He finally opened up to me about what was going on with his wife and that she refused to sign the paper and between the two of them there were assets in the mix that he wasn’t willing to compromise.
Aside from all that I have the key to his apartment and he’s constantly telling me that when everything is final our relationship is his first priority. Now 3 years later here I am in love with him and he’s still not divorced. He works a lot and his job sends him on a lot a projects out of town and the red flag was raised when he didn’t call or show for a week after he came back.
I just have this feeling that he might be trying to work things out with his wife. He is a family man so this doesn’t surprise me but don’t waste my time! I will be 34 next month and I hate to believe that he can just throw our FRIENDSHIP to the wayside! I’m so torn up and hurt about this and I wish I could let go but I can’t. I’m not the kind of girl to go sleeping with married men but I thought that our situation was different.
I know I should leave him alone but how do I let go?