Editor's note: Kurtis Smith, the NAIJ.com partner blogger, in this piece, explains how girls can "taste" guys. Mr Smith could be reached via email@example.com
More details in NAIJ.com’s step-by-step guide for guest bloggers.
“I have waited for him to make the move but he hasn’t. When is it okay for a girl to chase a guy?” she asked. I really thought she was asking a rhetorical question but there was nothing rhetorical about the look on her face. She looked frustrated and in love at the same time.
I have seen many ladies in this very uncomfortable position before. For a guy, he likes a girl and goes after her but for a lady, society has made it no so straightforward. She likes a guy but has to buy her time and wait for him to make the move. If he doesn’t, she dies in silence or risk making the move and selling herself short.
So is it ever okay for a girl to do the chasing?
As my hilariously blessed pastor would say “No” with this a very funny example.
In his words (paraphrased emphatically), “men are like hunters who go about hunting for the attention and affection of women. A guy sees a lady he likes, he plans, strategies, sharpens his weapon (humour, money, style etc), waits for the right opportunity and makes the move to get her attention. If he succeeds he then proceeds to win her over with affection and if that works too, he proceeds to boast about his new babe to his friends.
A hunter sees an antelope and same with the guy hunting for love plans his strategy, aims his weapon, waits for the right time and baaaaam, he shots the antelope dead. He walks up to the antelope, admires his catch, takes it home, boasts to his fellow hunters and family about his catch and devours the animal.
So what if this hunger goes to the forest to hunt for an antelope, doesn’t find one then gets home and finds an antelope had walked into his kitchen. The antelope put a pot on the fire, jumps inside and sprinkles seasoning, salt, and the necessary ingredients on itself and covers the pot.
If you were in the hunter’s shoes, what would you do? Be grateful to God for a free meal or run away? You guess is as good as mine.
This is exactly what girls do when they chase a guy. You appear as the crazy antelope.
Why should girls never chase guys?
1. It’s ungirly
It’s a man’s position to toast a girl not the other way around. Remember when Adam saw Eve for the first time, he toasted her by saying “she is the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh”. Eve didn’t say a word. She just listened and smiled. So when next you are pressured to make the move, ask yourself “what would Eve do?”. Read “8 Reasons Men Chase After Women”
2. You loose your advantage
A girl’s advantage over any guy asking is her feelings. The guy has already made his feelings known to her but she’s yet to make hers known to him which keeps him on his toes. If she was to make the move, she hands over the advantage to the guy. A very sad place for any girl to be. Trust me.
3. She looks desperate
As with the hunter analogy, making the move cuts her out as desperate and as with guys, they smell desperation from a mile away. Most will take her for granted, give her what she wants (attention and fake love), get what they want and leave her hanging.
So how does a girl make the move?
Now this is the part with the meaty stuff. I said a girl shouldn’t chase a guy but I never said a girl shouldn’t make a guy chase her.
READ ALSO: Understanding virginity and the 5 types of virgins
Let’s take a look at the pussy cat.
During heat, female cats are open to mating and therefore attract individuals of the opposite sex.
Female cats who are in heat generally make it obvious to others, often to a frustrating degree. Urine spraying often signifies the heat cycle — an action that is intended to communicate breeding status to males. Cats in heat also often act in especially loving and sweet ways, often through touching the people in their lives or by simply staying close to them.
So for a female cat in heat to attract suitors, she doesn’t just fold her hands and wait for male cats to approach her neither does she make the first move. She simply makes herself available, sprays urine everywhere to give the male cats signals and becomes extra nice to everyone around her.
As with girls. Instead of making the move. Make yourself noticeable to the guy you like. If you both are students, borrow his books or tell him to explain something you don’t understand. If you both are co-workers, always “run into him” at the canteen, ask for a favour, help with something he needs. If you see a guy you like at an outing, walk pass him and smile, maintain eye contact, ask him to take you and your friends a picture with your phone. In everything you do, make himself available and as the pussy, throw urine everywhere. Guys will catch up.
Also remember the female pussycat is extra nice when she’s on the heat. Be extra nice to him. Not in an intrusive way but very subtle so as not to be seen as desperate.
Really, there is no hard and fast rule to getting a guy’s attention but in all that you do, don't 'toast' him because you like him, set traps for him to toast you. Don’t be the stupid antelope, be the wise pussy cat.
EXTRA: "So when do guys start preferring the lady does the chasing?”.
My answer: “Never. Guys would never prefer a lady does the chasing. It makes her appear desperate. Guys love “green light”. You like him, don’t take the lead, make him that the lead by giving him the necessary “I like you’ signals. Set traps. If a guy lets you chase him, then he doesn’t want her. If he really does, he will man up and do what’s necessary. Kapish?
This article was written by the NAIJ.com partner blogger Kurtis. He is the Chief Editor of www.kingkurtissmith.com bursting with multitudinous articles on all things relationships, love, marriage, faith, career and you guessed it.......sex.
Follow him on Twitter: @kurtissmithblog, FB: https://www.facebook.com/kurtissmithsblog/ and IG: @kingkurtissmithblog
The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the editorial policy of Naij.com.
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