A woman who spent nearly two decades having sex with as many men as she could has opened up about how her promiscuity led to finding the man of her dreams.
Canadian comedian Ophira Eisenberg was a self-confessed 'slut' when she moved to New York in 2001; where she continued to date guys on her own terms, freely having casual flings and one-night stands, which she chronicles in her new memoir, Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy.
But contrary to popular belief, it was 'bonking her way around town' that led the 40-year-old to her husband.
'He was my final conquest, finishing around the number 40,' she told The New York Post.
The stand-up comic and host of the NPR trivia show, Ask Me Another, lost her virginity at 15 because she wanted 'to get this done with' in her home time of Montreal.
'There was no trauma, no change to my body. It was so . . . nothing. I remember thinking, “This is what our culture is obsessed with? This is what the songs are about? This better get better,' she explained.
'After that, I started sleeping around. I was like, “OK, I did it! Let’s do it again! Let’s figure out what this is about!”'
When she moved to New York 12 years ago to pursue her dream of being a comedian, she realized that the empowered and successful women she was surrounded by 'were all completely befuddled' by men.
'I saw these girls crying into their blood-orange margaritas, and I thought, “I am not doing this.” Why did the guys have all the power? I just wanted to take them down. Refuse them so they could be put in their place,' she said.
So Ms Eisenberg had dozens of flings, sleeping with handfuls of men in the basements of comedy clubs, to loft beds in Astoria, and even several of the parks in New York.
'It was experimental and fun,' she said. 'I certainly did not move to New York to settle down. It’s the wrong place to move if that’s your ambition.
'And I never dreamed of the wedding gown or the whole princess thing anyway. My mom always told me, “Never let a man tell you what to do.” My whole lack of monogamy meant, for me, that I was in control.'Although her friends didn't judge her, as she approached her 32nd birthday, they did think she was wasting her time.
That was when she met Jonathan Baylis, her future husband, who makes comic books for a living. 'He had these amazing blue eyes — I saw them beaming at me from the crowd,' she said.
After having sex on the third date, 'things moved quickly,' she said, and the pair moved in together within a year.
'Though he had a rough idea about my dating history and was a little intimidated by it, he was mostly thankful he didn’t meet me earlier when I was in a different headspace. He got the finished model,' she said.
Mr Baylis had slept with 33 women before he met Ms Eisenberg, and after she found a file on his computer named 'All the girls I've ever been with' for a comic book series, he reassured her that he always wanted her 'to be the last person on my list.'
The couple were married at City Hall shortly afterwards.
'It’s funny, all the clichés in life are true. I don’t care what nontraditional path you take, you will end up with someone where you’re like, “We got together because we have the same values,"' Ms Eisenberg said, adding that her 'hypersexual past' taught her a lot.
'I can recognize intimacy — a great sense of touch, and eye contact is very important. I’ve learned about chemistry, too,' she explained.
'Sometimes you go, “I don’t even know why I like this person, but I’m so attracted to them.” You don’t have a lot to talk about, but you feel something crazy in the bedroom. Overall just connection — it’s a very ethereal thing.
'I wouldn’t recommend anyone sleep around, the same way I’d never say, “Go out and get drunk.” But I do think it’s OK to find out what you like. Maybe some people know what they like right away. But my path was trial-and-error — and, boy, did it pay off.'