I am a married woman of almost five years. A little more than a year ago my husband and I separated for about three months. He moved in with an ex he was having an affair with.
During this time I reconnected with an acquaintance of 10 years. We have always kept in touch throughout the years with friendly hellos and how are things going in your life. We would meet fand hangout or catch up over the phone. No sex was ever involved.
Well, during my separation from my husband and after a few times of hanging out, me and my acquaintance started an intense sexual relationship that has continued even after my husband and I decided to work it out and get back together. We hook up on an average about once a month.
A couple of months ago my husband went through my phone and found some inappropriate text messages from this man and proceeded to call and harass him until he eventually changed his number. Since this happened he has yet to give me his new number and our communication is only through email.
I have always hoped deep inside that this man would try and pursue something more with me, yet he hasn’t. At one point, if he would have asked, I was willing to leave my husband. During this last year he has opened up about things in his life and I can see now that other than sex on occasion he wants nothing more with me.
Yet, when he emails or contacts me I still go. Not to mention my husband has made a 360 degree change. He continues to go above and beyond to fix the marriage and help me heal. Problem is, I now have feelings for this other person who I sense doesn’t really want me. I constantly say that I’m going to work on my marriage, yet find myself missing this other person waiting for his call.
At this point I do not want to leave my marriage, but I don’t want to end it with the other person either. I know it’s selfish. Please help.